Tips for Life: PRIORITIES

The story is told of a college lecturer who came into class and dumped a glass bottle down on his desk, proceeding to fill the bottle with stones. He turned to his students and asked ‘is the bottle full now?’ and when they responded with an enthusiastically confused ‘yes,’ he took some small shells out of his case and poured them into the bottle. Asking the class again, ’is it full now?’ the students once again replied in the affirmative.

However, again the class were surprised to have been proved wrong - the teacher took out some sand and gently poured the grains into the gaps between the stones and shells. The lecturer asked one last time ’is it full now?’ and though half the class were silent (they didn’t want to be proved wrong again), the other students responded with a confident ’yes, it’s definitely full now.’ But again, to the shock horror of the now thrice-wrong students, out came a cup of water which was poured into the bottle (accompanied by a wry smile) to finally fill it to the brim. ‘Now it’s full,’ beamed the lecturer.

He went on to explain the point of this demonstration. Had he put in the contents in the other way round (water first, then sand, then shells and stones), they would never have all fit into the bottle. Only when one goes in order of size; starting with the stones, then putting in the smaller things, can all these materials make it in.

The moral of this delightful little tale is that in life one has to prioritise. Make sure the bigger, more important things in life are taken care of first, and then move the smaller things around that. This works on a bigger, life scale too. Sort out the important things, the things that really make you happy in life - family, kids, meaning and fulfilment - and try and plot the rest around that.

Similarly, when going for a partner for life (a wife/husband), don’t fall into the trap of being blinded purely by their looks - it’s their personality and character that will be around in the future, together with your common goals; looks tend to get ’no better’ over time (don‘t say that to their faces). If you want something that's going to be meaningful, happy and something that will last, it’s all about making an intelligent choice of priorities.

by Rabbi Daniel Fine

Time is everything - Mussar from the Parsha - SHEMOT

Pharaoh commanded that "Let the workload be made heavier on the men and let them do it; and let them not be occupied with idle talk".

The Ramchal - Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato is one of the most renowned authors of works of ethics and rebuke - Mussar - the most famous of with is Mesilat Yesharim - Path of the Just.

In the "Path of the Just", the Ramchal writes that one of the cunning techniques of the evil inclination is to keep a person so busy with sinful and destructive activities and thus to deny him the opportunity to actually stop, think and ponder the direction his life is taking, and where he wants it to go.

"For the evil inclination knows that if people had the time to stop and plan their life plan carefully they would feel regret for their sinful actions, and eventually transform their lives into lives of righteousness and goodness."

This is the same principle as Pharaoh's plan. By keeping them preoccupied with their back-breaking labour they had no time to focus on serving God or their redemption from slavery.

However, the Shem MiShmuel points out that this exact same stratagem can be inversely used for the good. By filling up one's time with constructive and useful good deeds, one has no time to sin. When one is so absorbed in good, it is just impossible for any sliver of wickedness to creep in.

The Talmud relates that Rava, the 4th generation Babylonian "Amora" Talmudic sage was once so engrossed in his learning that he failed to realise that a bench had falled and completely crushed his foot to a pulp. He did not even notice this severe fose of excruciating pain.

Similarly, the great Chassidic Master, Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk told his Chassidim - followers:

"I want you to refrain from sinful activity not because you are repelled by its defilement and baseness, but simply because you have no time for it."

We are all so busy these days, running to and from work, school, home, etc but we have to set aside time for the things that really matter to us in life.

A recent global campaign was held a few months ago which encouraged users to disconnect from all digital devices - iPhones, Blackberries, iPads, Android, Windows mobile devices - you name it - and devote one hour - smartphone-free - for the things that really matter; from spending time with the family to volunteering at an old-age home or an institution distributing food for the needy. The principle was that we should fill our time with what is good and important - and we should just open our eyes and realise what is what.

Commencing with Pharaoh and continuing with all the "Pharaohs" that have been around since, they strive for our spiral into despair. We must only move uni-directionally.

And that way is up.

Ethics from the Parsha - SHEMOT

SHEMOT: STAYING POSITIVE

In this week's Torah portion, Moses replies to God's command of leaders and responds by saying that the Jewish people "will not believe" that God has spoken to him and "will not listen" to Moses' voice.

However, Moses knew the Jewish people were awaiting for a leader to come and lead them out of Egypt. Even Pharoah knew that a leader would take the Jewish people out of Egypt, which is why he issued the command to drown all newborn Jewish baby boys in the Nile.

Why therefore, was Moses confident that the Jewish people wouldn't allow him to be their leader?

Moses' fear was actually that the Jewish people would be so crushed by the years of servitude and back-breaking labour that redemption just seems too far off the horizon. He knew they would believe him in the theoretical sense, but he needed a sign to make their belief concrete and palpable in the physical realm.

If a miraculous sign was given, this would arouse their inherent belief to a more tangible state.

However, why was God upset at Moses' comment? He did not completely deny the Jewish people's belief in God and His messenger?

However, by speaking in such a manner, Moses was subtly insulting the Jewish people. God was upset that Moses didn't fully realise that the Jewish heart and spirit remains intact; and is impervious to the sufferings of the lengthy exile.
This can be comparable to an account recounted in the book and subsequent film "Defiance" that chronicles the remarkable bravery of the Bielski brothers, who led a Jewish partisan group in the forest and is renowned for protecting non-combatant civilians as well as fighters. There is an account that in order to rally the Jews and to raise their spirits, Tuvia Bielski recounts the story of the Jews and their exodus from Egypt. Just mentioning the story of the Egyptian slavery and exodus is seemingly enough to raise spirits.

But going back to Moses; surely this slight oversight wasn't so demeaning and shouldn't have been severe enough to warrant God's upset?

This is just testimony to Moses' greatness. The greater one is, the more severe his demeanours become. Take, for example, a student in school. At age 7, one can write several grammatical errors but still get a high mark in an English essay. However, at age 17, a lot more is expected form the student and even 1 or 2 grammatical errors can result in a low grade.

Therefore, from this incident, we learn the tremendous importance of always speaking positively about the Jewish people.

Ethics from the Parsha - Vayechi

OPEN YOUR EYES - VAYECHI

This week’s Torah portion entitled Vayechi is unusual in one respect; it continues without pause from the previous Torah portion of Vayigash, which we read last week. Usually, there is a gap or pause between two portions, which indicates where each one starts and stops. But not so for Vayechi. Why is this so?

The biblical commentator Rashi explains that the Torah portion is “closed” – meaning that it continues from last week’s portion and there is no gap or indicative spacing in the text, is because the “eyes of the Jewish people were closed.”

In today’s world, we are truly witnessing amazing phenomena. The strides the world has taken in politics, economy and technology, amongst other fields is outstanding.

On a daily basis we witness sighs of redemption in the world; but not always do we realise this and take note of what is happening.

One such sign that redemption is on its way is the general treatment of the Jewish people by would leaders. More Jews than ever now have full access to Judaism, with no regimes such as the Soviet Union to restrict religious observance.

The fact that there is also a Jewish state; one in which religious observance is unhindered and where one can fully live like a Jew in the open without the existing levels anti-Semitism that is still prevalent even in civilised western countries is another such sign.

The Jewish perception in the world is another such sign. Whilst persecution of the Jews was ripe even until just before the Second World War and beyond; where a religious Jew couldn’t even hold a job in America as working on the Sabbath was required. Today one can see Jews sporting traditional Jewish garb on the executive boards of major global companies and corporations.

However, what is painful is that many of us take these signs for granted. The world is changing and it is changing in the path of eternal good.

The longing of thousands of years is no longer an unrealistic dream - it is within grasp.

All we have to do is open our eyes.

Only then will we be able to usher in the ultimate redemption.

Shabbat Shalom.

Don't Worry - Be Happy! Thoughts from the Torah Portion

In this week's Torah portion of Vayigash, Joseph tells his brothers "Do not be upset". He is referring to the fact that they sold him as slaves. Naturally, they would be distraught having realised the pain anguish they put their own flesh and blood through.

But this isn't just Joseph speaking to his brothers - This is the Torah speaking to us.

The great Chassidic master; R' Aharon of Karlin explains that happiness isn't a commandment; one of the 613 mitzvot.

Rather, happiness is ALL of the 613 commandments.

By being happy, we are able to able to make sure our service of God is whole-hearted and genuine.

The story is told of a holy man who whilst learning all night long in the study hall realised an old man had suddenly appeared next to him. He ran out of the room as quickly as he could and went home. When asked the following day by his friends why he didn't stay; for perhaps the old man was none other than Elijah the Prophet, who on occasions visits devout Jews? The Rabbi answered: "It couldn't be. Elijah the prophet has a constant aura of happiness. The man in the study hall had an aura of doom and gloom. Therefore I know it was something bad so I needed to flee."

And thus, the reciprocal is also true. Depression is not a sin, but it transgresses everything at once!

We have to remember though, that happiness is not a physical condition. It doesn't depend on physical or material possessions or pleasures.

It is a state of mind. We have to appreciate what we do have. What we can do.

Happiness is positive. It is what we are. What we do. What we can do.

The opposite is negative. What we are not. What we do not or can not do.

The Mishnah in the Tractate of "Ethics of the Fathers" explains that "Who is Rich? He who is happy with what he has!"

May we all merit to be rich in the fullest sense. To appreciate what we have in life. To appreciate that however low we may feel, we always have something to be grateful for.

Wishing you all much happiness and a Shabbat Shalom.

Ethics from the Parsha - Vayigash

In this week's Torah portion, the narrative surrounding Joseph continues. He is ruler of Egypt and is approached by his brothers, who is unaware that he is Joseph; their brother.

Many lessons can be learnt from their treatment by him.

He repays them with kindness, by giving them plenty of food. This is despite the fact he had every reason not to! They sold him as a slave, setting in motion the chain of events that caused Joseph much pain and suffering, including languishing in an egyptian jail for several years.

Why did Joseph act with such kindness towards his brothers?

This incident teaches us to convey an important, fundamental principle.

We are taught by the sages in numerous places that "Everything that God does is for the good". Therefore, all the ordeal that Joseph was put through by his brothers was for his and the greater good. Therefore, he owed his brothers a deal of gratitude, for they were the messengers that enabled this good to realised.

This incident teaches us to appreciate the good in the world; however concealed it may be.

And as we see the Channukah candles burning, with the light clearly illuminating the darkness around, it is very easy to see. However, one flick of a lightswitch quickly cancels out the inspiring glow of the candles. It is then, when the candles are just bits of surplus light; that we have to appreicate their beauty.

Assimilation and Channukah

Understanding the meaning of the Chanukah battle, a war unlike any other.

Oil is probably the most politically incorrect of all liquids. It simply refuses to compromise its uniqueness.

If oil were a person it would almost certainly be condemned for its stubborn unwillingness to blend in with others. It chooses to remain aloof, separate and distinct. Mix it with water and it stays apart and maintains its own identity.

No matter how hard you try, oil stays true to itself and just won't assimilate.

Perhaps that's why it deserved to become the ultimate symbol of the Chanukah miracle.

When we celebrate the victory of the Maccabees over the Syrian Greeks, we need to remember what was really at stake in this major confrontation. This was a war unlike any other. It wasn't fought to conquer more territory. It wasn't meant to capture more booty or bodies. This was ultimately a conflict between two totally different ways of viewing the world.

The story of Chanukah is all about a clash of cultures. The Greeks weren't out to kill the Jews. Their intent wasn't genocide of a people. It was rather a battle against those who threatened their commitment to hedonism, their infatuation with the body, their obsession with athletic competitions to prove superior worth. In these they found beauty – and the very meaning of life.

Keats summed up well the Greek ideal in his magnificentOdeOn A Grecian Urn:
For beauty is truth and truth is beauty; that is all ye know and all ye need to know
What the Greeks worshiped was the holiness of beauty. What the Jews wanted to teach the world instead was the beauty of holiness.

The Greeks worshiped the holiness of beauty. The Jews taught the world the beauty of holiness.

It was the battle between these two ideas that defined the war of the Maccabees. Sad to say, there were Jews who were seduced by the seductive wiles of secularism and forsook their ancient heritage. They sold their blessings for a mess of pottage. They renounced the message of the prophets for the glory of the games. They chose the temporary rewards of the body over the eternal blessings of the spirit. They are known as the Hellenists. They assimilated – and haven't been heard from since.

The victory of the Maccabees was the triumph of those who exemplified the unique characteristic of oil and refused to assimilate, and instead chose to remain steadfast in our mission to bring the moral vision of Judaism to the world.

That is what makes the story of the Maccabees so very relevant to our time.

In the past few weeks we've been witness to a rather bitter debate about a provocative advertising campaign sponsored by an Israeli Ministry. It seems that the Ministry of Absorption thought it would be a good idea to convince Israeli expatriates living in the United States to come back home by dramatizing the risk of assimilation of their children and grandchildren in the Diaspora. The theme of the ads promoted the idea that living outside of the Jewish homeland threatened their link with the Jewish past, with Jewish tradition and with Jewish culture.

That led to huge fireworks. A prominent Jewish spokesmen declared, "I don't think I have ever seen a demonstration of Israeli contempt for American Jews as obvious as these ads." Critics assailed the campaign as a vicious attack on "the Jewishness" of all those outside of Israel.

So strong was the hue and cry of outrage that the ads were quickly removed. The campaign obviously touched a delicate nerve. In what may very well have been viewed as an over wrought slander on the possibility of Jewish life outside of Israel, the reaction nevertheless vividly demonstrated the powerful fear generated by the thought of assimilation.

And if the ads were wrong because of the way they seemed to differentiate between life in America as opposed to Israel, their message should surely be acknowledged as a wake-up call to Jews no matter where they may be living.

Because the bottom line is that after more than 2000 years, the spirit of the Maccabees seems to be losing in its battle to prevent Jews from assimilating into a fervent embrace of secular culture and ideology.

The Greeks gave us the Olympics. In an irony that defies all logic the Maccabees, who fought for the supremacy of the Temple over the sporting arena, were chosen as the name for the Maccabiah, the international Jewish athletic event similar to the Olympics held in Israel every four years.
Athletic contests are wonderful venues for physical recreation. They cease to be admirable when they take over our lives, as they sometimes do, not only in professional settings but even in collegiate contexts.

Please don't distort what I'm saying. Sporting events are fine if they are understood as adjuncts to a spiritual life. But when they become an end unto themselves, we adopt a foreign value and assimilate.
Assimilation today takes many forms.

We've assimilated when all we want is to party, never to pray.

We've assimilated when all we care about is what we look like on the outside, not what we feel like on the inside.

We've assimilated when our greatest goals are fame and fortune rather than love and learning.
We've assimilated when more than anything else we want to envied by the eyes of our fellow man instead of being treasured in the sight of God.

We've assimilated when our chief goal is to accumulate more goods rather than simply to be good.
We've assimilated when we are far more interested in our inheritance than in our legacy, by what we get from the past rather than what we give to the future.

We've assimilated when we consider our children burdens rather than blessings and when we believe the best things we can give them are valuables rather than values.

Our tradition teaches us to revere the beauty of holiness. That was what the Maccabees fought for as they confronted an alien culture that stressed the body over the soul, the material over the spiritual. That remains our challenge.

Like the oil of the Chanukah story, we dare not assimilate.

As we bring ever greater light into our homes every night with its flame, we affirm our belief that we will succeed. We will maintain our uniqueness that has enabled us not only to survive but to be the torchbearers of morality and civilization for all mankind.

by Rabbi Benjamin Blech